I loved reading this—everyone wants to be disciplined in fashion and style and reading and thinking and using our phones just enough (not too much, not too little; it's kind of cool to be offline but not very cool to be TOTALLY offline and therefore out of the loop…)
you really captured my conflicted feelings about trying to enact discipline in every aspect of our lives, and trying to control everything (which isn't possible!)…maybe it's about just enough discipline: so that we're happy and largely content but not obsessed with an unattainable perfection
this is so kind- thank you so much for writing this response and i’m so glad this resonated with you because it makes me feel not alone haha- completely agree with what you say about it being cool to be offline but not cool to be totally offline oh my GOD
Celine, you've nailed a tough balance here! It's like walking a tightrope between staying connected and enjoying some quiet time. It's refreshing to hear someone embrace the "just enough" approach to discipline. It makes striving for happiness seem more realistic than chasing perfection. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Celine—it really got me thinking!
I am currently in the midst of trying to find the perfect middle ground between relaxation and discipline...it is a sisyphean feat fr. But at least for me that means more down time and less beating myself up for not 'doing enough' when historically I am doing way, way too much
looove this, so similar to my thoughts when i was writing my essay "everything everywhere all at once" -- it's so hard to know what to prioritize but i 10000% agree that the greatest form of discipline is finding your own perfect balance. discipline is subjective !!!!!!
*Thought bubble* Because we increasingly feel like we can have it all, we need to humbly prove to ourselves that we don't. But, at some point after the back and forth, we realize we don't need to prove anything at all and that's the most aspirational thing !!
Ummmm this was amazing. Been thinking about this a lot recently, too. Nothing in extremes is healthy, life is all about finding the middle ground that works for you AND (like you said) keeping it to yourself 👏🏼👏🏼
Sat up in my chair while reading this!! I've been thinking about this topic so much (in a ruminating, down-on-myself way) and I appreciate this perspective. It's almost like I'm more proud of myself for practicing healthy habits because they're perceived as good, as opposed to being proud of myself for actually taking care of me. It feels much better to say that I sleep with my phone in my bathroom because then I can focus more on reading before bed, which is true, but carefully omits my habit of sleeping through my alarms otherwise. Well written and really interesting piece!
Really enjoyed this, from a stoic perspective (well my interpretation anyway) discipline is choosing the pain upfront for the long term pleasure. The two are always linked but short term pleasure overtime leads to long term pain. So it’s more about what you choose and then sticking to it. Personally, I believe consistency beats yo-yo every time and so I strive to find balance in moderation.
Felt this. There’s a lot of pressure to be effortlessly perfect (a phrase that obviously contradicts itself). Makes me think of the era of Emma Chamberlain. I feel like she blew up at the time because there was a rawness and certain lack of discipline?
Loved this so much. Heavy reinforcement of the point that the effects of discipline are held in high regard, but discipline as a practice can be viewed as overly restrictive, almost antithetical to self care or self love in some way even though I think it breeds the highest form of self care when done healthily!! and the whole "not wanting to look like you tried" element of course
Heather, agree with you, you've touched on such an important paradox!
Discipline does sometimes get a bad rap for seeming too restrictive, but you're right—it's actually a form of deep self-care when done right. And isn't it funny how we all admire the effortless look, yet achieving it often requires a lot of effort?
I really resonated with your text in a way bc I am currently struggling with starting something new(can be anything. New hobby or creative project. Basically everything that requires some sort of sticking to it and overcome the rough or challenging part of it) bc my mind is always racing towards the future and imagining how it will feel to master the skill or finishing the project. Within this thought(which is motivating at the beginning) I often realize how much discipline it will take and how far away I am from actually archiving the desired outcome. This weird logic of attaching a huge amount of discipline to a lot of things I do makes me loose interest in them way to quickly.
I recently started running again. Without any Strava app or marathon training schedule. I just reflect on every single run without comparing it to the one before or thinking about how much of a progress I did or did not make. This idea of „going for a random run“ three times a week and actively ignoring the progress or possible outcome over time, is something I think we should incorporate more In other aspects of life.
Like: don’t start running just for the sake of creating a new (healthy, disciplined) habit. Just go for a run, be aware of your body and its movement while running and then do it again if you liked it. Suddenly you will have a new hobby, habit and the discipline to follow it without even noticing.
Maybe it’s not even possible to create discipline just for its own sake.
Wow. this got way longer than I intended it to be and it’s actually my first comment ever on substack
PAUL!!!!!!!! thank you for sharing all of this- i’ve been revisiting all of this especially as we approach new year’s resolution time - the running without a strava app is such a good example of enjoying hobbies for pleasure as opposed to a disciplined outcome- thank you for sharing !!!!
omg thanks for the reply🥹 it is this time of the year that’s so true! So many thoughts popping up rn on the resolution thing. In German we say „Vorsatz“ which leans more towards „intention“ which implies having a plan. Anyway I’m excited for new texts of yours!
I loved reading this—everyone wants to be disciplined in fashion and style and reading and thinking and using our phones just enough (not too much, not too little; it's kind of cool to be offline but not very cool to be TOTALLY offline and therefore out of the loop…)
you really captured my conflicted feelings about trying to enact discipline in every aspect of our lives, and trying to control everything (which isn't possible!)…maybe it's about just enough discipline: so that we're happy and largely content but not obsessed with an unattainable perfection
this is so kind- thank you so much for writing this response and i’m so glad this resonated with you because it makes me feel not alone haha- completely agree with what you say about it being cool to be offline but not cool to be totally offline oh my GOD
Celine, you've nailed a tough balance here! It's like walking a tightrope between staying connected and enjoying some quiet time. It's refreshing to hear someone embrace the "just enough" approach to discipline. It makes striving for happiness seem more realistic than chasing perfection. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Celine—it really got me thinking!
yes! you said it perfectly; in the end we want to be happy with how we live our lives and pursue our interests…perfection isn’t necessary!!
🙂↕️🧡
reading as i am rotting in bed right now knowing damn well i deserve days where i’m not disciplined at all!!!
HELL YEAAAAA
I am currently in the midst of trying to find the perfect middle ground between relaxation and discipline...it is a sisyphean feat fr. But at least for me that means more down time and less beating myself up for not 'doing enough' when historically I am doing way, way too much
YES!!!!!
looove this, so similar to my thoughts when i was writing my essay "everything everywhere all at once" -- it's so hard to know what to prioritize but i 10000% agree that the greatest form of discipline is finding your own perfect balance. discipline is subjective !!!!!!
*Thought bubble* Because we increasingly feel like we can have it all, we need to humbly prove to ourselves that we don't. But, at some point after the back and forth, we realize we don't need to prove anything at all and that's the most aspirational thing !!
YESS!!!!!
Ummmm this was amazing. Been thinking about this a lot recently, too. Nothing in extremes is healthy, life is all about finding the middle ground that works for you AND (like you said) keeping it to yourself 👏🏼👏🏼
bruh not very tbh but im doing my best
same <3
bruh i felt that, you got this bruh
Sat up in my chair while reading this!! I've been thinking about this topic so much (in a ruminating, down-on-myself way) and I appreciate this perspective. It's almost like I'm more proud of myself for practicing healthy habits because they're perceived as good, as opposed to being proud of myself for actually taking care of me. It feels much better to say that I sleep with my phone in my bathroom because then I can focus more on reading before bed, which is true, but carefully omits my habit of sleeping through my alarms otherwise. Well written and really interesting piece!
thank you so much for reading Devyn! that is so kind - i’m so happy this resonated with you, agreed on the consistency piece
Really enjoyed this, from a stoic perspective (well my interpretation anyway) discipline is choosing the pain upfront for the long term pleasure. The two are always linked but short term pleasure overtime leads to long term pain. So it’s more about what you choose and then sticking to it. Personally, I believe consistency beats yo-yo every time and so I strive to find balance in moderation.
Felt this. There’s a lot of pressure to be effortlessly perfect (a phrase that obviously contradicts itself). Makes me think of the era of Emma Chamberlain. I feel like she blew up at the time because there was a rawness and certain lack of discipline?
i totally agree- but at the same time her success must be tied to extreme levels of discipline even if it is behind the scenes. so interesting
Definitely! Adds more to the love of the illusion of carefreeness for sure.
Loved this so much. Heavy reinforcement of the point that the effects of discipline are held in high regard, but discipline as a practice can be viewed as overly restrictive, almost antithetical to self care or self love in some way even though I think it breeds the highest form of self care when done healthily!! and the whole "not wanting to look like you tried" element of course
Heather, agree with you, you've touched on such an important paradox!
Discipline does sometimes get a bad rap for seeming too restrictive, but you're right—it's actually a form of deep self-care when done right. And isn't it funny how we all admire the effortless look, yet achieving it often requires a lot of effort?
!!! thank you for reading Heather <3
I love all of your writing!!
ok this !!!!!
Gahhh I loved this. Thank you
I really resonated with your text in a way bc I am currently struggling with starting something new(can be anything. New hobby or creative project. Basically everything that requires some sort of sticking to it and overcome the rough or challenging part of it) bc my mind is always racing towards the future and imagining how it will feel to master the skill or finishing the project. Within this thought(which is motivating at the beginning) I often realize how much discipline it will take and how far away I am from actually archiving the desired outcome. This weird logic of attaching a huge amount of discipline to a lot of things I do makes me loose interest in them way to quickly.
I recently started running again. Without any Strava app or marathon training schedule. I just reflect on every single run without comparing it to the one before or thinking about how much of a progress I did or did not make. This idea of „going for a random run“ three times a week and actively ignoring the progress or possible outcome over time, is something I think we should incorporate more In other aspects of life.
Like: don’t start running just for the sake of creating a new (healthy, disciplined) habit. Just go for a run, be aware of your body and its movement while running and then do it again if you liked it. Suddenly you will have a new hobby, habit and the discipline to follow it without even noticing.
Maybe it’s not even possible to create discipline just for its own sake.
Wow. this got way longer than I intended it to be and it’s actually my first comment ever on substack
Thank you for your inspiring text!✨
PAUL!!!!!!!! thank you for sharing all of this- i’ve been revisiting all of this especially as we approach new year’s resolution time - the running without a strava app is such a good example of enjoying hobbies for pleasure as opposed to a disciplined outcome- thank you for sharing !!!!
omg thanks for the reply🥹 it is this time of the year that’s so true! So many thoughts popping up rn on the resolution thing. In German we say „Vorsatz“ which leans more towards „intention“ which implies having a plan. Anyway I’m excited for new texts of yours!
thank you paul !!!!! happy new year :)
i think it can be helpful to reframe discipline as being consistent - it's almost a more kinder way to look at developing a habit or way of being
agreed!
Loved this!