why is wearing merch so embarrassing?

in defense of owning what you *actually* like

earlier this week GQ published an essay from Sam Hine declaring that we have reached the “end of merch”, i saw the article, skimmed it but didn’t fully reflect on it until

Emily

included it in a Feed Me letter (a testament to Emily’s influence no doubt). the basis of the article questions why merch feels viscerally uncool at the moment and ultimately concurs, “merch once made us feel unique. then it made us realize that we’re not so unique after all”. overall, i thought the article was great (i tend to love anything Sam writes for GQ) because it made my reflect on my own relationship with the “branded” items i own and cherish.

it will most likely surprise no one who has been reading angel cake for a while that i am pretty enthusiastic about wearing merch of all kinds: beloved worn-in band t-shirts i patiently waited in line for at booths, the matchbooks lying idle on my coffee table serving as manifestations of new and old friendships born from those dinners, and the tote bag from my favorite bookstore i use to painfully haul my groceries through the east village. to me, merch has always been a conduit for bringing small pieces intangible joy into my physical world. there is something i find endearingly nerdy in wearing a piece of paraphernalia emblematic of something you love, to me it evokes memories of when i would beg my mom to take me to the mall on saturday afternoons to spend my birthday money on emo band t-shirts from hot topic (i desperately wish i still had this one metro station t-shirt…). i think this is why i am ultimately a bit disheartened in the rejection of merch, i find that it reveals a lack of confidence and conviction in our interests when they are widely adopted by a monocultural force and/or called out by downtown new york meme accounts.

we’ve all noticed the cyclical lifespan of popular items becoming shorter and shorter not only just because of our rapidly diminishing attention spans and desire to be one-step-ahead of the next new trend thus cyclically feeding our egos; but also, because in a nano-second whatever niche piece of merchandise that you were so gleefully excited about will inevitably be roasted on nolita dirtbag or throwing fits. and to be clear, i hope they never stop posting, instead i think we should all develop thicker skin and a better grasp on what we “like”.

there has been a plethora of brilliant think pieces exploring the lack of community in our hyper-individualistic culture (specifically within the US) so i won’t go into that at nauseum; but i do constantly feel the reverberation of the lack of community in all aspects of life spanning from where we eat, to what we wear, to what we watch and read. the aversion to be a small part of a mass group of people who share the same affinity for something is nothing more than an elitist identity crisis ripened (as learned from personal experience and reflection). your personality should be much more expansive than merely your favorite restaurant or movie, but if the second someone points out that this opinion/interest is widely held you back away from celebrating that connection you once loved, you probably didn’t truly like it in the first place.

to me, the coolest thing you can do is not only identify that “thing” that makes you feel as you did when you were in middle school and discovered something that felt so proudly yours; but to also have the self-assurance to stand behind it when you see five people on orchard street with the exact same thing as you. wear your merch! find the things you actually like! smile at that person wearing the same shirt as you! laugh at the meme making fun of the mcnally jackson tote bag as you walk outside carrying it, and never be embarrassed for liking something!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!! i would love to know if you have any specific pieces of merch you love- pictures are encouraged !!!! this was a bit ~shorter~ than usual so curious if that bothered you or if you found it refreshing…

i’m going to be publishing a dear angel cake on wednesday which will be for paying subscribers, but as a reminder i am keeping my weekly sunday letter <3 free <3. feel free to email angelcake@substack.com with anything you want advice on anonymously.

i appreciate you so much.

XOXOXOXO