THINGS I KNOW I LIKE !!!

because knowing what you ☆ﾟactually☆ﾟ like is a lot harder than it should be...

Dec 11, 2023

the other day i was attempting to thin out my overwhelmed closet and unearthed nearly disintegrated bodysuit from college as i imagine archeologist would discover an ancient relic. i could almost smell the spray tan and lack of self respect radiating off the sad, wilted piece of fabric. i thought to myself “how did i EVER wear this. there is no way i liked it..”

a few days before the disturbing incident i saw sofia coppola’s priscilla, and like most people who have seen the film i was struck by that one line where priscilla tells elvis “i don’t know if i like it” regarding a new song. knowing whether you like something is a concept that theoretically should be natural, but in reality (especially for women) is excruciatingly difficult. the ability to shed decades of people pleasing and remove the inner voice in the back of your head telling you to be as small (both figuratively and literally) and inconspicuous to the current status quo as possible can feel almost impossible to achieve.

i never “liked” that bodysuit. i “liked” the social currency it granted me, a golden ticket of acceptance into a collegiate ecosystem. the problem with cashing in the ticket however is that it works almost immediately, mementos of approval in the form of extended party invitations, cliquey group chat and the ever coveted sorority bid are yielded from externally exuding a sense of understanding a culture through your choice of clothing. however (!), the longer you go yearning for this rite of passage the further you get from yourself, and conversely the harder it gets to understand what you actually like. at some jarring moment you’ll be shaken back to it, either through visit your childhood home or when you smell a scent you used to wear and you will be constricted by that odd sense of longing for nothing else but yourself.

i’ve found that a true understanding of what makes you feel like “you” requires removing as much external pressure as possible. i mentally assess the below questions:

can i see myself in 20 years liking this?
would my middle school self love that i am wearing this or would she be confused?
am i wearing this for the ~male gaze~? (yea i added this girls)
do i like how this makes me feel or do i like how this makes me appear to others?
do i feel like myself or someone i am trying to be?

i want to end this by saying i am constantly working on the concept of truly understanding what i am drawn to. i easily fall prey to trends/social influences/monoculture. but coming back to the below list helps check myself when i start to veer into buying something only because somehow every girl below 14th street is wearing it.

i started a pinterest board of the below for your viewing pleasure! i highly recommend starting one for yourself as a jumping off point- this also does not have to be about clothes, knowing what you like should inform all design/creative decisions in your life. and how special is it to create your own little world that feels so indisputably you.

12 things i know that i like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

big fur jackets - you are going to notice that there is a theme of this list revolving around glamour and utter chicness which is what i love and what i have always gravitated toward (my ultimate style icon is a chic italian grandmother for context). i DIE for a big (faux) fur coat. especially paired with a casual outfit of either sweatpants or a pair of medium wash straight leg denim with a crisp white tee. my favorite thing to do in the winter when i feel the grasp of seasonal depression coming on is to wear sweatpants + a fur coat and see a movie by myself (trust me it works)
red nails- red has always been my favorite color so naturally i am my element now that red is “trending” at the moment. i used to switch up my nail color every few weeks i think in an effort to feel that i had control over the spontaneity in my life. i’ve found recently that i feel the most grounded and myself when i have a bright red manicure as silly as that sounds… actually i take that back the color of your nails is important and not silly !!!!!!! (this entire passage would send a victorian child into a coma)
diamond tennis necklaces /pearls paired with errand outfits- i love errand dressing and one of my favorite ways to get dressed to run an errand is to wear a casual/comfortable outfit and add an unexpected elevated necklace to bring forward a thoughtful element- my favorite is either a single strand pearl necklace or (faux.. for the foreseeable future) diamond tennis necklace. it adds a touch of peppiness without being too serious.
my unexpected theory - i might do a whole separate substack on this so hold tight but one thing i have noticed about myself when getting dressed is that i always try to add something unexpected. as you can probably tell, i try not to take anything too seriously and this ethos is directly applied to my outfits. for example, if i am wearing a casual outfit i like to add a overly formal handbag for a touch of tension, or if i am wearing a preppier outfit i like to add a sneaker + ankle sock to offset the formality. i think this is also why i love my tattoos, even when i am wearing a vintage lady jacket, velvet mini skirt and mary janes it will always feel a bit subversive to me because of my tattoos. this is also why my favorite brand(s) are miu miu/prada, to me they always execute the unexpected theory flawlessly (a cashmere turtleneck paired with sequin underwear…. perfection).
fun socks - I LOVE A SOCK! this follows my unexpected dressing theory a bit- if i ever have a “boring” outfit consisting of a big sweater + baggy jeans + a long coat i love being able to wear a pop color sock to add some interest- investing in socks is also a great way to add a sense of newness in your wardrobe without buying something substantial. men’s dress socks are my favorite for reference.
huge bows - i have spoken/written/posted about my infatuation with giant bows at nauseum so i won’t go into too much detail here, but even though bows are the ~motif of the moment~ i have always and will always love bows. to me they symbolize an extra added layer of femininity that makes everything just a little bit more beautiful even if it doesn’t have to. I LOVE BEING A GIRL AT 25!
lady jackets - i remember the first time i saw a chanel tweed jacket in person and thought to myself “when i am older THAT is what i will wear” still haven’t umm gotten my hands on a chanel tweed jacket for obvious reasons but i have started my collection of vintage lady jackets and whenever i wear one i know my younger self is beaming <3
i live for a oversized lacey nightgown- i find a lot of the “chic” things i like to be uncomfortable and unpractical (ie: high heels, structured clothing etc.) and silk lace nightgowns are the perfect anthesis of that. i love throwing one on in the summer paired with comfortable sandals or flats and running errands completely unencumbered by any feeling of restriction. this is also why prada SS23 is my favorite show of all time <3
have a strange relationship with leopard print. i adore leopard print in a pony hair vintagey way but sometimes struggle with the execution of a leopard print across the board (i.e. the jersey shorification of leopard print…which i mean with no disrespect i ride for snooki) but i’ve found that if i am selective and careful with my prints i end up really loving it
vintage frame handbags - bags have always been my sartorial weakness, i think there is something beautifully human in making a utilitarian object meaningful, my favorite handbag silhouette is without a doubt a vintage frame bag from the 50s/60s
ballet flats / mary janes - this is another “trend” that has been a staple for me, i distinctly remember wearing a pair of ballet flats in high school when they ~weren’t cool~ and a girl said to me “omg you are so brave to wear whatever you want” RIP. i love my ballet flats/mary janes and i will never stop even when the trend cycle leaves them behind
pleated mini skirts and oversized big t shirts - my summer uniform for bopping around town includes a oversized t-shirt paired with a short pleated mini skirt finished with a girly shoe (usually a ballet flat). this to me is the perfect culmination of personality and casualness from the t-shirt, femininity of the skirt and a touch of elegance from the shoe.