I don't remember who said that if you wanted to know about fashion, you have to know about everything but fashion. I feel like I have a good fashion sense bc I have never been trendy, even though I tried to be cooler when I was a teen. Too much of myself showed up so I was never cool enough. But now I'm grateful bc I have always been cool to myself, and that's all that matters
I absolutely loved this! After a 47 year old balding man wearing a pocket square who smelled like mothballs told me on a first date I should be wearing baggier jeans because they're "more in style" it made me realize what a slave to the algorithm everyone is (even out-of-touch middle aged men).
I always say my best outfits are the accidental mismatched random things I throw on to go run to the market on a Saturday morning. More time listening to music and creating art. Less time carefully carbon-copying outfits from TikTok. I hope a million women read this post.
PS I've been wearing giant faux fur coats since 1997 and I can't wait for the trend to be over so I can go back to looking like an individual lol
howled at this - FUCK THAT BALD MAN! also agree on the fur coat trend i have been wearing my grandmother's mink coat for years and a girl told me i looked like the "mob wife aesthetic" and i wanted to slam my head on the table
I also think... I've BEEN thinking about this... but stop worrying about "finding your style"!! Style is a mirror for who you are. And you will change!!! I am 36, some of the clothes I like now are different from the clothes I liked when I was 25... because *I* am different, which is exciting and fresh! And some of the clothes are exactly the same, just like the (very cute tbh) example of your bows in this newsletter being a thing you liked as a kid and also as an adult. Let yourself be excited to change and to see what stays the same :)
Think about getting dressed less, worry less about finding some kind of eternally fixed, unchanged personal style.
i completely agree!!! our clothing will always change but fundamentally there will be certain things we will always be drawn to- and recognizing that is so powerful!! thank you for reading
This came upon me at truly the right time. I have struggled for years with body dysmorphia, chronic pain from a motorcycle industry in my pelvis (which made me hyper-aware of anything around my pelvis aka any PANTS), and the millennial compulsion to wear only things that make me "look thin." I fought every impulse I had for years because I wanted to "dress better" and like you said, fit into some sort of aesthetic box. David Lynch's passing reminded me of something he said about clothing; "I like comfortable pants and clothes I can work in, that I feel comfortable in. I don't really like to get dressed up. I like to wear the same thing every day and feel comfortable." The same thing every day comment was like a light bulb turning on. Another of my favorite people Fran Leibowitz wore the blue suit jackets and white shirts that she's become known by. All that to say, this year I am embracing my impulse to only ever wear all black, duplicates of my favorite things, and only clothing that makes me feel comfortable, even if I don't fit into a style box with it.
lily! thank you so much for this comment i completely agree- i didn't even touch on dressing intentionally to make our bodies look a certain way because i find that to be a topic worth a million words and hopefully will write something on it. i LOVE that david lynch quote, thank you for sharing it because it is how i feel! i want clothing that allows me to feel like myself and not the other way around. <3
In a podcast, I heard about Allison Bornstein's idea of choosing your style based on how you want to feel in three words. The first word is practical: how functional or wearable it should be. The second word reflects how you want to be or what you want to convey. The third word is emotional: what feeling it should give you. I find it interesting because it focuses much more on you and your own desires, rather than conforming to trends or others' expectations.
I am absolutely obsessed with this post!!! It has spoken to me in so many ways. I feel more empowered to wear some of the pieces I’ve kept because I love them, but they aren’t necessarily in style rn (like a lilac faux fur coat that has a black and white checkerboard stripe along the middle of it). You’re also an amazing writer and have inspired me to become a better one.
This was so on point with how I’ve been feeling lately! There’s so many ‘aesthetics’ I’m drawn to, so I’ve stopped trying to define (confine) myself in fashion! For the past few months I’ve been focusing on what feels good and what makes me feel like ME! I love vintage and whimsy pieces so much :) ty for writing!
so so real of a post- our style is *our* style! i always surprise myself by putting on an outfit that i dont think ill like, then i look in the mirror and go “oh wait” because its not about what we expect, its what we are!! thank you for writing 💖💖💖
As I read this I thought how when I found what I'd like to call my personal style (out the phase most girls go through when black is everything and pink abominable) I felt specifically the pressure to appear well maintened. This was during the awful teens and I just thought I didn't want my messy insides to show on the outside. I highly gravitate towards 50s inspirations, maybe because people seem to have their life together if they have their silhouette together.
I don't remember who said that if you wanted to know about fashion, you have to know about everything but fashion. I feel like I have a good fashion sense bc I have never been trendy, even though I tried to be cooler when I was a teen. Too much of myself showed up so I was never cool enough. But now I'm grateful bc I have always been cool to myself, and that's all that matters
yes!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sally Singer! Love that quote too
I absolutely loved this! After a 47 year old balding man wearing a pocket square who smelled like mothballs told me on a first date I should be wearing baggier jeans because they're "more in style" it made me realize what a slave to the algorithm everyone is (even out-of-touch middle aged men).
I always say my best outfits are the accidental mismatched random things I throw on to go run to the market on a Saturday morning. More time listening to music and creating art. Less time carefully carbon-copying outfits from TikTok. I hope a million women read this post.
PS I've been wearing giant faux fur coats since 1997 and I can't wait for the trend to be over so I can go back to looking like an individual lol
howled at this - FUCK THAT BALD MAN! also agree on the fur coat trend i have been wearing my grandmother's mink coat for years and a girl told me i looked like the "mob wife aesthetic" and i wanted to slam my head on the table
😂😂😂 I know how you feel. Plus I’m Italian and born and raised in Brooklyn so I’m like…this isn’t a trend lol
I love this newsletter :)
I also think... I've BEEN thinking about this... but stop worrying about "finding your style"!! Style is a mirror for who you are. And you will change!!! I am 36, some of the clothes I like now are different from the clothes I liked when I was 25... because *I* am different, which is exciting and fresh! And some of the clothes are exactly the same, just like the (very cute tbh) example of your bows in this newsletter being a thing you liked as a kid and also as an adult. Let yourself be excited to change and to see what stays the same :)
Think about getting dressed less, worry less about finding some kind of eternally fixed, unchanged personal style.
i completely agree!!! our clothing will always change but fundamentally there will be certain things we will always be drawn to- and recognizing that is so powerful!! thank you for reading
This came upon me at truly the right time. I have struggled for years with body dysmorphia, chronic pain from a motorcycle industry in my pelvis (which made me hyper-aware of anything around my pelvis aka any PANTS), and the millennial compulsion to wear only things that make me "look thin." I fought every impulse I had for years because I wanted to "dress better" and like you said, fit into some sort of aesthetic box. David Lynch's passing reminded me of something he said about clothing; "I like comfortable pants and clothes I can work in, that I feel comfortable in. I don't really like to get dressed up. I like to wear the same thing every day and feel comfortable." The same thing every day comment was like a light bulb turning on. Another of my favorite people Fran Leibowitz wore the blue suit jackets and white shirts that she's become known by. All that to say, this year I am embracing my impulse to only ever wear all black, duplicates of my favorite things, and only clothing that makes me feel comfortable, even if I don't fit into a style box with it.
lily! thank you so much for this comment i completely agree- i didn't even touch on dressing intentionally to make our bodies look a certain way because i find that to be a topic worth a million words and hopefully will write something on it. i LOVE that david lynch quote, thank you for sharing it because it is how i feel! i want clothing that allows me to feel like myself and not the other way around. <3
In a podcast, I heard about Allison Bornstein's idea of choosing your style based on how you want to feel in three words. The first word is practical: how functional or wearable it should be. The second word reflects how you want to be or what you want to convey. The third word is emotional: what feeling it should give you. I find it interesting because it focuses much more on you and your own desires, rather than conforming to trends or others' expectations.
i love this!!!!
i want to be friends with u after reading this
<3
I am absolutely obsessed with this post!!! It has spoken to me in so many ways. I feel more empowered to wear some of the pieces I’ve kept because I love them, but they aren’t necessarily in style rn (like a lilac faux fur coat that has a black and white checkerboard stripe along the middle of it). You’re also an amazing writer and have inspired me to become a better one.
Tysm again!! XOX
catie! that is so sweet!!
🫶🏼🫶🏼
This was so on point with how I’ve been feeling lately! There’s so many ‘aesthetics’ I’m drawn to, so I’ve stopped trying to define (confine) myself in fashion! For the past few months I’ve been focusing on what feels good and what makes me feel like ME! I love vintage and whimsy pieces so much :) ty for writing!
so sweet!! i also felt relieved over the TikTok ban lol
i smiled reading this. “their closets engulf you like a fragrance”. so good.
thank you!!!!!!!!
so so real of a post- our style is *our* style! i always surprise myself by putting on an outfit that i dont think ill like, then i look in the mirror and go “oh wait” because its not about what we expect, its what we are!! thank you for writing 💖💖💖
thank u for posting this
I love this so much!!!!
Great post. finally, an article that justifies my complete lack of effort.
hell yeah
Wow, this was so inspiring!! Watch me form into the version of myself that is not a cumulation of trendy outfits and fast fashion.
As I read this I thought how when I found what I'd like to call my personal style (out the phase most girls go through when black is everything and pink abominable) I felt specifically the pressure to appear well maintened. This was during the awful teens and I just thought I didn't want my messy insides to show on the outside. I highly gravitate towards 50s inspirations, maybe because people seem to have their life together if they have their silhouette together.