how unrealistic is sex and the city REALLY?

a Lunch on Friday x angel cake collaboration <3

Apr 25, 2024

Editor’s note (lol): Angelina and I met working at our corporate fashion job… which I acknowledge feels like it was made up in an early 2000s rom-com. We were work friends who became real friends and are now substack friends (Emily = angel cake, Angelina = Lunch on Friday). We decided to collaborate on this piece to kill time on a Sunday and had more fun than we even expected. We will definitely do more collab posts in the future which means you should subscribe to Lunch on Friday to not miss any of them <3

Sex and the City has a reputation of being deeply “unrealistic”… which it is! In many cases. However, we find ourselves texting each other “that is soooooooooo satc” describing unexpected run-ins, funny PR events, ex-situations popping back up, crushes of the week who come and go in a flash.… and we couldn’t help but wonder, is Sex and the City really THAT unrealistic to modern day New York?

angel cake x Lunch on Friday broke it down for you (while we were getting tattooed) (which I feel like would totally happen if SATC were set in 2024)

REALISTIC: Having a boyfriend/crush of the week

Emily: SATC is one of the only shows that depicts this revolving door of random insignificant flirtations that inevitably come in and out of your life if you are single and live in New York. The other week a crush from a few months ago who I had since released from crush-status randomly texted me and when I sent the screenshot to Sydney she responded, “I forgot about this character” this made me lol because he is literally just a character…….

Angelina: I was recently watching SATC while one of my best guy friends was at my apartment doing work on his laptop on the opposite end of the sofa. At one point he interjected, “How does Charlotte have a new boyfriend already? It’s been two episodes!” I found this so funny because (A) I didn’t know he was paying attention and (B) it’s honestly not uncommon in New York. People move on pretty fast here – keep up!!! This is one of my favorite tweets of all time:

UNREALISTIC: Carrie’s only job being to write a WEEKLY column while she simultaneously affords a perfect studio apartment with a walk-in closet and a separate kitchen

Emily: Not a hot take, but this is so crazy to me. Writing a weekly column is MAX 1 day of work a week… and even if her apartment is rent stabilized there is no way she makes enough to pay rent, buy $400 manolos, drink $15 cosmopolitans on a frequent basis and take cabs everywhere. also, what is she doing for health insurance !!!!!!

Angelina: I was recently ~published~ and did not get paid for it so... you do the math.

REALISTIC: “In New York you’re always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment.”

Emily: Unfortunately true. But also, this is what keeps us going, a little yearning is good in my opinion. I am perpetually at minimum looking for one of these things at all times..

Angelina: Agree with Emily, although right now I’m not looking for a boyfriend. Not having a roommate or a boyfriend is sooo fun I don’t report to anyone

Emily: I’m currently looking for a situationship if anyone wants to apply for that position. Also, in the market for a Carrie style rent-controlled spacious studio with a walk-in closet. Not too much to ask!

Angelina: Okay wait also looking for a situationship, I recently went viral on Twitter for boldly asking the question “does anyone wanna be in a 2-4 month situationship that destroys us both but ends in a friendship that benefits both of our careers”

UNREALISTIC: Gossiping during workout classes

Emily: It makes me laugh soooo hard every time the girls have full on conversations in the middle of a class… Samantha literally asked someone to leave and have sex with her during yoga in one episode. I am a big advocate of a no-talking + no-phones during workout classes unfortunately.

Angelina: Sometimes I run into people I know at Pilates and I feel SO AWKWARD when we exchange hellos because you just knoooow that everyone is listening to your conversation. It’s crazy that they do this on the show. And also one of its funniest bits.

REALISTIC: How everyone knows everyone / running into people everywhere

Angelina: I actually have a whole draft started on this which I might publish at a later date. I have THOUGHTS on this. I literally can’t leave the house without seeing someone I know, and although I believe that’s a product of my constantly talking to everyone everywhere all the time, I do think New York feels like a “small town” more than some people think. I’m constantly thinking about the below tweet. Like YES she kept running into Big! I run into friends and exes and coworkers and FAMILY MEMBERS and Chloë Sevigny and people I know all the time! Birds of a feather flock together or whatever. Does that make sense here?

Emily: I probably utter the phrase, “I love this small town” once a week. I feel like we’re constantly running into friends or friends of friends or friends of friends of friends and it is so FUN! You never know who you’re going to see … I think my favorite instance of this is the silent wave from across the street- the other day on my way to yoga I saw a long-lost guy friend from college and we both just wordlessly waved and smiled. When unknowingly put my mat down next to our friend Nyla. Magic!

UNREALISTIC: Never taking the subway ….

Emily: in general, the two of us are huge subway proponents even more so than most of our friends... it is exponentially faster and cheaper. If I had to take a car every time I went to a dinner or event I would literally never go..

Angelina: My new thing is starting a Spotify Jam in the subway and sending the link to my friends so it feels like we’re in an Uber together with me on aux, but it only cost us $2.90. It’s great. Highly recommend.

Emily: This bit has been huge.

UNREALISTIC: Running errands and walking during the day in heels

Emily: Similar to Carrie, we are also big walkers and all I am gonna say is, thank god for flat mary janes

Angelina: YOU’RE TELLING ME CARRIE WAS RUNNING ERRANDS IN MANOLOS ON COBBLESTONE STREETS IN SOHO?

REALISTIC: Going on errand dates with friends / doing walk-and-talks on the street

Emily: This is one of my favorite parts of the show, I am a big advocate for running errands with friends + simply going on walks with a treat. It feels less serious and official than a scheduled sit-down hang and I find that epiphanies are often had during errand walk-and-talks…

Angelina: THE BEST WAY TO HANG OUT!!!! Some of my most meaningful conversations with friends have been had over ice cream walks through Washington Square Park or coffee walks on the West Side Highway or “I have to go drop off film in the East Village if you wanna come.” (I’m typing this as I’m watching Emily get a rose tattoo on her ankle. We love hanging out at our tattoo studio.) Jack literally gave me some of the best advice I’ve ever received 3 weeks ago as my Morganstern’s salted chocolate ice cream was melting in my cup and we were passing under the blooming trees in Washington Square Park. I’m soooooo grateful for errand dates and walk-and-talks and tattoo hangs.

REALISTIC: Big showing up in Carrie’s life whenever she’s doing fine without him

Angelina: I unfortunately have a Mr. Big or two. I believe that everyone who comes into our lives enters for a reason, and sometimes the “when” and “where” doesn’t make sense. My Mr. Big will always be a question mark for me, and that’s what makes life fun and exciting. It ain’t over till it’s over.

UNREALISTIC: Big pulling up out of the blue in a limo wherever Carrie’s walking

Angelina: I’m laughing out loud because when is this going to happen to me

Emily: While I am anti-uber, I am pro-private town car financed by a toxic ex

Angelina: I second the motion

REALISTIC: Exclusively referring to crushes by code names

Emily: One of the best bits in the show is that the girls only refer to Big as .. Big. I love it. I pride myself in the code names I give my friend’s early romances, only a lucky few have graduated to real names (you know who you are).

Angelina: I’ve been a consistent code-namer since 6^th grade, and I believe it’s important for so many reasons. For starters, you never know who’s listening to your conversation on these small-town streets; but also, it’s so fun to talk about Gym Stalker and the 22 Year Old and Father Time and Highsnob and none of you have any idea who I’m talking about do you?

Emily: and we’ll never tell.

REALISTIC: Miranda calling and ordering the same Chinese takeout from the same place every time

Angelina: This one is near and dear to my heart. I do this. I have a paper takeout menu from a Chinese place downtown in an undisclosed location because I literally don’t even know where it is. The menus were placed in my building’s lobby the week I moved into my apartment in 2022, and I’ve been calling on the phone (yes, talking to an actual person) and ordering the same thing from there ever since: General Tso’s chicken with broccoli and a side of rice. They don’t ask me for my address or my credit card. They just know.

REALISTIC: Getting put on “the list” for funny niche events (i.e. the S&M themed restaurant from season 1, random book parties, the hoe-down party in the Hamptons….)

Angelina: It wouldn’t be a normal week in our lives if I wasn’t texting Emily, “hey i just got put on the list for this party on thursday where there will be tooth gems and tattoos and a performance if you wanna be my +1”

Emily: I still can’t believe I got a tooth gem at 12:30 am in the basement of a bar during a dj set last Thursday.

UNREALISTIC: Carrie always walking in the middle of the street

Emily: it’s so funny she will be leaving a party at like 1 am and walk by herself in the MIDDLE of the street. Girl…

Angelina: Be so for real...

REALISTIC: Going out during the week

Angelina: Coming from Responsible Party Girl 1 and Responsible Party Girl 2, this is highly realistic and very doable even with a full-time job. I honestly often prefer going out during the week as opposed to the weekends, which are for Resting. There’s always something happening in the city that never sleeps. Thursday is the best day of the week.

Emily: DITTO TO THE ABOVE! Especially if you have a 9-5, I think it is crucial to go out and remind yourself that you are allowed and SHOULD have an extremely full and vibrant life outside of work even on the weekdays. Thursdays forever.

Angelina: !!!!!!

TBD: Your ex being friends with your guy friends even after you’re not together anymore

Angelina: No comment.

Emily: hahahahahahahh

REALISTIC: Miranda loving celebrity gossip

Emily: this makes… so much sense to me. I see a lot of myself in miranda (for better and for worse) and I completely understand her need to turn off her brain and consume the fluffiest drama that has nothing to do with her. In my mind Miranda is somewhere right now watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion while eating beef with broccoli, brown rice, brown sauce from shanghai gardens on her couch.

Angelina: Miranda would love DeuxMoi.

REALISTIC: Carrie doing things for “research” (i.e. dating, attending certain events, etc.)

Angelina: Anytime one of us is dreading going on a date or doing something out of our comfort zone, we immediately combat this by saying, “cultural anthropologists.” It’s our way of reminding ourselves that even if the 30-something man I gave my number to at an underground rave in Chinatown isn’t my husband, maybe it will make for a good story if I go on a date with him. (It did not. Biggest waste of my time. But alas...) It’s interesting to meet people who have different experiences than you – you can learn something new from everyone you meet and everything you do and every place you go!

Emily: I cannot stress this enough: YOU HAVE TO EXPERINCE WHAT YOU DON’T WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU DO WANT! I have learned so much about ~life~ through how I present myself in weird situations. Also, there is nothing funnier than a bad date or an off conversation. It’s all for the laughs!

And just like that...

Okay so, a lot doesn’t hold up, but in our humble opinions Sex and the City is one of the the best shows to accurately depicts a lot of the weird nuances of living in a city while being single. No matter what happens, we can always count on running into an ex at the worst possible time, Emily to give budding situationships the perfect code-name and Angelina to send a text resembling “hey do you want to go to a friend of a friend of a friend’s art show then go downtown to see another friend’s dj set?” at least once a week. WE LOVE NEW YORK!

PS: For further proof, as I was editing this Angelina called me and walked straight into a construction zone accidentally and had to be guided out while I was on the phone and this scene flashed in my mind