how to tell if you have fashion fomo

maybe you don't need those mesh ballet flats

i distinctly remember when the row mesh sock flats came out,

Leandra Medine Cohen

was the first person i saw wear them and i immediately knew it liked how they felt tangentially off-putting and organically chic (something only Leandra can expertly pull off). i thought to myself, “should i find a pair of mesh flats……” after shifting through various mesh outdoor shoes i talked myself down with the reasoning that i, A. live in new york city where i should realistically only be buying shoes that put up a firm barrier between myself and the street and B. these are pretty jarring ugly-chic shoes i would not want to be wearing everywhere… i have a rule where i *try* to not buy anything i can’t wear to work (i love leading a meeting in a pleated mini skirt), and i couldn’t imagine wearing these in the office because dreaded the conversations that would arise from their divisiveness. i made my peace with my mesh-shoeless existence and moved on with my life.

like trend-cycle clockwork, a year later sandy liang came out with mesh mary janes. i immediately texted a particularly sartorial indulgent friend and said, “nooooooo i want these”. i went as far as to stand in line at the sandy sample sale for an hour in hopes i would find a pair in my size for under $150 (my naivety will never cease to surprise me). i broke down and bought a pair of those mesh embellished slippers from a booth in chinatown (i had an identical pair when i was 7 and appreciated the nostalgia), i wore them all the time last summer, pleased with my decision to not purchase a mesh shoe for an exuberant price.

now here we are another year later, and mesh ballet flats and mary janes are feel omnipresent on the street with dupes galore, girls in my office are gliding all over our smooth wood floors in their little mesh shoes that i know they would have loathed 3 years ago. i would be lying if i said there was not a voice in the back of my head prompting me to buy a more substantial pair in order to feel a part of something. i’m extremely aware that the business of fashion is built off of the feeling of being “in the know”, signaling to the world that you “get it”- the insidious part is how simultaneously aware of this as i am and how i am still unable to let this Fear Of Missing Out go.

what i am most frustrated with is not that i didn’t buy mesh flats when i initially wanted them years ago, it’s the lack of conviction in my decision once it is wrung out from the reptation of seeing the shoes everywhere. i’m moving apartments this weekend which has naturally causes me to go through every article of clothing i have somehow shoved into tiny crevices of my space. i’ve realized that everything i am parting with were all bought out of a desire to be recognized as a part of a trend and the fear of missing out on it. i made a pile of “forever pieces” which i bought out of love and in a silo of my own taste such as my realisation par tiger mini dress which is perfect for every party, the embellished slip dress i bought from free people in middle school, the coach navy wool coat that was my first purchase when i started my job. then i made my fomo pile, which laid flat on my white comforter without any of my personality or interest such as those rosette mesh fancii clup tops, a house of sunny crochet mini skirt, and the aritzia melina leather pant… (don’t judge me on the last one).

to be clear, i love trends and think they are one of the best reflections we have of culture. what i am trying to narrow in on are those moments when your initial decision to not buy something is slowly chipped away via the forces of targeted ads and bella hadid staged paparazzi photos which is how i can tell fomo is taking over. these impulse purchases will undeniably have an expiration tied to the trend cycle it was initially inspired from. we are not meant to participate in everything, even when we do like it. there will always be something next, the cooler thing will always be the ability to tell someone “i’ve had this forever!” when someone compliments you.

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