CAKE FOR LUNCH: SUMMER INS AND OUTS

a lunch on friday x angel cake collaboration

and

Jun 16, 2024

Editor’s note: for those who do not know, Angelina and Emily are substack friends, work friends and real-life friends. This is their official summer 2024 state of the union address. ENJOY!

IN

drop-in culture

Angelina: I love the fact that my apartment is pretty much in the center of downtown Manhattan because it facilitates frequent drop-ins from friends and family. I’m akin to various calls from friends wanting to sit in my AC for a bit or needing to drop something off or just wanting to come up and say hi because they were in the neighborhood. My brother frequently drops in before a night out so that we can squeeze in a few episodes of SATC before he has to meet his friends. Having a drop-in apartment is everything. I am Jerry Seinfeld.

Emily: The other night after a dinner I found myself in Williamsburg on my friend’s street, I texted her asking what she was doing and immediately felt like I was in my suburban neighborhood riding a bike up to my best friend’s house to knock on their door and ask their mom if my friend can play. Let’s make hanging out casual again!!!!!!!

going out as a workout

Emily: We talk a lot about being “responsible party girls” and large part of that means trying to consciously balance everything all at once. The summer somehow gets BUSY despite all efforts, and I sometimes get overwhelmed with not being able to workout and see my friends and go to the office every day and get 8 hours of sleep and go on dates… we forget however- going out IS a workout.. I cancelled my 7am workout class on Tuesday knowing we were going to the Charli xcx show that night and would be dancing a lot. Incredible decision, I got 25,000 steps that day without even realizing….

Angelina: Waking up the morning after being out late and seeing that you’ve already walked 12,000 steps is a great start to any day.

walking around outside with a mug

Angelina: One of my favorite things about summer is my nightly walk around the neighborhood in my pajamas with my tea in my pink mug. Holding a mug outside is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. It lets everyone know that this is MY neighborhood and I’M PRETENDING I LIVE IN A BEACH TOWN.

Emily: I love this. The other day I just took a walk around Tompkins Square Park with a mug, I was having a particularly stressful morning and immediately felt better for some reason… who says New York can’t feel like a small town……

going out on thursday staying in on friday

Emily: We have decided that this is the perfect recipe for a weekend. Going out on a Thursday inherently extends your weekend and staying on a Friday is the perfect time to ~actually~ recharge and watch a movie without work lingering the next day.

Angelina: THURSDAY IS THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK!!!!!!! I’ve been saying this for well over a year, and I am constantly being reminded of its truth. It sets the tone for the weekend. Fridays are for watching movies and ordering takeout and allowing yourself the ability to wake up early and have a full Saturday. I’m a Thursday girl through and through.

grand gestures more drama

Emily: We recently were in a conversation with a dear friend who was describing the origin story of how a friend of a friend’s sibling got together- the story was full of drama including two breakups and a public profession of love. They are now engaged. MORE DRAMA! I have been thinking a lot about this since my dancefloor make out essay, people are very thoughtful and cautious these days… which can be great! But also, I believe are meant to make mistakes and learn from them. Tell your crush you like them! Write them a letter! Do something dramatic! Kiss your friends!

Angelina: And I’VE been thinking about this a lot since my strangers essay – everyone needs to just get over themselves and say things and write things and post things and put themselves out there more. Stop being so Good!

Emily: STOP BEING SO GOOD.

pitching yourself (in so many ways ...)

Emily: I love the idea of “pitching yourself” in all aspects of life. Pitching yourself to your crush, pitching yourself to your boss for a promotion, pitching yourself to a freelance creative project etc. this sounds very girlboss, but no one is going to know you want something unless you explicitly ask for it. The worst thing that can happen is that you move on to the next. GO FOR IT!

Angelina: Probably the most important thing I’ve learned since entering the workforce is knowing how to advocate for yourself—not just at work but in all areas of life. This may shock you, but people aren’t mind-readers. Know what you want and get it! Pitching yourself also comes in the form of how you present yourself. Every outfit you wear is a visual elevator pitch. Dress how you want to be addressed!!!!!

paying with cash

Angelina: CASH IS SEXY! I almost always pay with cash when I’m at a bar. There are many reasons for this. A) As mentioned, cash is sexy. People see you pay with cash and they’re like whoa. B) Bartenders love cash tips. C) This makes you feel like you didn’t spend too much money when you check your credit card statement the next morning...

Emily: I HATE being reminded via my bank account that I spent money at a bar… life’s too short to be reminded of that one extra drink you shouldn’t have bought. Cash = out of sight, out of mind.

bringing paper fans out

Angelina: We’re writing this from Casetta which famously gets very hot inside but we love that because we’re having a European Summer. Last summer, I bought hand-painted bamboo fans in Chinatown for myself, Emily, and Elise, and mine is currently in my hand as I type this. It’s necessary and it’s chic.

Emily: I feel so dramatic when I bring our fans out (in the best way). Again.. MORE DRAMA!

bringing a flask out

Emily: We were in the middle of a really silly night at Bar Valentina and saw one of our friends hunch over the diet coke he ordered and unearthed a silver flask to top it off. Angelina and I immediately locked wide eyes and said, “we need to do this”. No one should be paying $17 for a vodka soda.

Angelina: Forget about “phone keys wallet” when leaving the house. This summer, it’s “cash flask fan.”

turning your phone off at a party

Emily: We recently found ourselves in one of those magical summer days where you leave your apartment at 11 am and do not come back until 1 am and somewhere in the evening I realized my phone was at 10%, instead of rummaging for a charger I decided to just turn it off and be ~off the grid~. It felt oddly freeing that no one knew where I was or what I was doing and couldn’t reach me. (obviously make sure you are in a safe environment and please do not walk home alone with a dead phone <3).

Angelina: I mentioned it on Substack before but sometimes in college I wouldn’t even bring my phone out. I’m not saying I think that’s a good idea for me to do in New York... but what if...

aligning on what you are going to order for the table at dinner BEFORE starting to yap

Emily: One thing about us is that we love the theatrics of a dinner. Last night we went to Bonnie’s with Valerie, Anne and Elise and had an entire shared notes app agenda to get through, I always like to get down to business and decide what we are going to eat BEFORE getting into it. There’s nothing worse than when you are trying to focus on a friend’s story while also deciding whether you want the brussels sprouts or ricotta toast to start.

Angelina: Usually the order is my job anyway, so I always arrive with a plan.

Emily: I love when Angelina takes control of the dinner table.

OUT

dating apps (STILL!)

Emily: I have been anti-dating app for a while, mainly because I find that so much of attraction is energy and shared values that are unable to be derived from a profile that only tells me that the thing you always order for the table is a round of spicy margs. Recently I redownloaded hinge because I am trying to test out a first date theory for angel cake research and really gave it a fair shot. I was quickly reminded how much I loathe dating apps…. A wise woman once said, we should all talk to strangers

Angelina: :’) Thanks Em :’) But no for real....... Hinge is a harrowing place just hail someone over to your table at Café Select instead. Also Ava from bookbear express wrote the best article ever that perfectly captures our sentiment so I’m just going to let her take the wheel here.

Emily: I also heard substack DMs are a great way to ask someone out.. just saying.

vaping.

Angelina: This was on my 2024 Ins and Outs list (obviously in the Outs section) and it still holds true and always will. I have never owned a vape. (If you’re gonna smoke at least smoke a cigarette.) (Sorry.)

Emily: I was sitting next to this intern couple (sorry to the intern community, you’ll understand one day), at dinner who was constantly passing their ugly blue elf bar back and forth at the table. The whole thing felt both deeply unchic but also sooo distracting. Grow up and smoke a cigarette. Or zyn if need be.

Angelina: A ZYN, EMILY??????

Emily: To be clear about my hierarchy of nicotine: CIGARETTES>ZYN >VAPE.

big birthday dinners at restaurants

Emily: We’ve all been to one… A birthday dinner for a friend of a friend you feel obligated to attend. At the dinner you are seated next to someone new and barely get any of the shared apps, you have one drink as opposed to the groups average 3 drinks per person, you leave feeling weird and wake up the next morning to a $167 venmo request sitting in your inbox. Birthdays should be about spending quality time together! It does not have to be a big expensive ordeal! You should also not feel bad about declining a birthday dinner invite, just ask that person for a 1:1 dinner instead!!!!

Angelina: Normalize saying no to these. Unless it’s a close friend, there shouldn’t be the assumption that everyone invited to these must attend. They’re SO EXPENSIVE, and unless you’re seated next to the birthday person, you often don’t even get the chance to talk to them. I’d rather spend $80 on a one-on-one dinner with the birthday girl than $150 on a dinner with 13 people where I interview the person next to me all night. I’ve been saying that my goal is to have a birthday dinner at Pardon My French in the East Village in which I pay for everyone. Would be so chic. One day.

leaving a house party to go to a bar

Angelina: If you know me, you know I love a house party. (See also: You’re Invited) House parties are FUN and relatively FREE and you feel SAFE and MEET PEOPLE!! If we’re having fun at the party, I’m the last person to say “let’s go to a bar.” What if we just stayed..

Emily: When have you ever had MORE FUN at a bar than at a house party where you are surrounded by all your friends playing your favorite music where you can sing and dance freely????????? Again… just kiss your friends, don’t go to a bar.

Angelina: Often the party is at my house so I’m biased—but where else can you control the music and serve yourself what you’d like to drink and touch up your makeup and talk about the contents of someone’s fridge?

saying yes to everything

Angelina: This summer we’re saying NO more! We’re also saying YES! We’re having a NEUTRAL SUMMER!!!! More of my thoughts on this here.

Emily: I’m still working on this, I think we both have a hard time saying “no” because our immediate reaction to everything in life is “YES!”… we are inherently enthusiastic, but I think the more you truly know yourself the more you understand what you actually want to attend.

dry cleaning

Angelina: At Anne’s birthday dinner party in April, I spilled olive oil on a purple silk Coach runway dress and it was utterly devastating and I made a big deal about it at the table and was being very dramatic and Jack told me I needed to change before we went out after dinner which resulted in my being more dramatic BUT THEN I literally got the stain out by throwing it in the wash on delicate. I don’t even understand how dry cleaning works, but I’m convinced it’s a hoax.

Emily: I swear my spot stain remover. I also just don’t have the money to dry clean so let’s keep this OUT.

Angelina: Omg I just remembered that freshman year of college, my Instagram bio was “yes i have stain remover” – people would come to 3^rd floor Swig Hall from far and wide to have me take the stains out of their clothes. I can do anything.

~~“having a nightcap”~~

Angelina: This has been redacted. We had different ideas of the definition of nightcap, but after our magical nightcap at the Chelsea Hotel a few weeks ago, I think we are on the same page.

Emily: Ok so I initially put this one on the list but have since had to redact after that magical nightcap we had at the Chelsea Hotel. To me, a nightcap used to mean just an extra drink in the night that you will always regret the next morning- I will say it is a beautiful conduit for a deep conversation and a great excuse to get a freshly baked cookie and $25 cocktail just because. I am now pro-nightcap.

Angelina: I also enjoy a glass of bourbon on the rocks as a nightcap. Shoutout to Anne and her dad and summer 2020

HAPPY SUMMMMMMMMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!