really liked this!! the idea of competitiveness/ambition has been on my mind a lot recently and it’s really interesting to hear other people’s takes on it. the feeling like ur floating messily somewhere between two neat and tidy ideas of characters is something that really resonated with me and i loved the way u wrote about it all!!
i was reading along saying "yes yes yes" to everything and then you mentioned you're also a capricorn and i was like "there it is. this must be how we just have to exist" because i too, a cap, are constantly floating between identities and wondering if that is okay xxxxx
I actually enjoyed the Carrie Bradshaw-esque vibe! The rambly, reflective style made it feel more personal and relatable. Keep mixing it up—I’m here for it! <3 :)
“i teeter between taking pride and feeling embarrassed by my own ambition” never related to something more… ugh!!
Especially within creative fields, i feel like there’s a lot of stigmq surrounding wanting to make a living off your creative work. You should seem like you want it, but not too much, or else you’re compromising your artistry. If you try to monetize your craft, you’re a sell out, but then, we should strive to lead a life where we do what we love? All quandaries I have.. I’ve felt more comfortable accepting that I want to be great at the things I love! Within reason ofc!
coming from you this is such a compliment!!! i agree i think a lot of my insecurity comes from wanting to be creative but also being ambitious- it shouldn’t be as nuanced as it is!
i feel like you reached into my brain and pulled out all of these feelings i'm still working through! this was beautifully written (i LOVE this style) and the line "my perception of what it means to be the best changes depending on the room i'm in" is going to stick with me for a while.
"My perception of what it means to be the “best” changes depending on the room I’m in"
Yep!! I think for me this is also heightened by being in New York where in one day you can run between circles that value a corporate job/ artistic production/ social capital/ the depth of your meditation practice/ how much you party/ etc etc.
Your articulation of the things you truly want to be good at, your success as a balance between having a great career and having fun inspired me to articulate this to myself as well... the feeling of having this "center" to come back to when you're inundated with so many external definitions of success. It feels like ambition can be a great thing when it motivates you to channel your energy towards something you love.
This was great. I hope you can avoid whatever is happening to the other Substack girlies right now, everyone is so stressed re optimizing their sletters, getting all self-conscious and biting at others. Your voice is really specific and interesting.
really liked this!! the idea of competitiveness/ambition has been on my mind a lot recently and it’s really interesting to hear other people’s takes on it. the feeling like ur floating messily somewhere between two neat and tidy ideas of characters is something that really resonated with me and i loved the way u wrote about it all!!
thank you!!!!! this is so kind and made my day ❤️
i was reading along saying "yes yes yes" to everything and then you mentioned you're also a capricorn and i was like "there it is. this must be how we just have to exist" because i too, a cap, are constantly floating between identities and wondering if that is okay xxxxx
as a capricorn rising, same!
caps forever 💘
you articulated many things I’ve been thinking about. I’m so with you that growth is good some places - not so much others. also I LOVE a Capricorn ♥️
Chiming in as a fellow Capricorn to THANK YOU emily for seeing me right to my core <3
THANK YOU
I actually enjoyed the Carrie Bradshaw-esque vibe! The rambly, reflective style made it feel more personal and relatable. Keep mixing it up—I’m here for it! <3 :)
thank you!!!!!!!!!!! will continue to ramble
i never thought about it but i, too, am selectively competitive and i love how you described it. brava!!!!!!
“i teeter between taking pride and feeling embarrassed by my own ambition” never related to something more… ugh!!
Especially within creative fields, i feel like there’s a lot of stigmq surrounding wanting to make a living off your creative work. You should seem like you want it, but not too much, or else you’re compromising your artistry. If you try to monetize your craft, you’re a sell out, but then, we should strive to lead a life where we do what we love? All quandaries I have.. I’ve felt more comfortable accepting that I want to be great at the things I love! Within reason ofc!
coming from you this is such a compliment!!! i agree i think a lot of my insecurity comes from wanting to be creative but also being ambitious- it shouldn’t be as nuanced as it is!
i feel like you reached into my brain and pulled out all of these feelings i'm still working through! this was beautifully written (i LOVE this style) and the line "my perception of what it means to be the best changes depending on the room i'm in" is going to stick with me for a while.
loveee that drop dead gorgeous made it to the mood board, was thinking abt it while reading ur intro - da perfect campy pageant movie <3
"Can you tell I'm a Capricorn?" Dying laughing. Fellow Capricorn here and everything you wrote here was dead on.
"My perception of what it means to be the “best” changes depending on the room I’m in"
Yep!! I think for me this is also heightened by being in New York where in one day you can run between circles that value a corporate job/ artistic production/ social capital/ the depth of your meditation practice/ how much you party/ etc etc.
Your articulation of the things you truly want to be good at, your success as a balance between having a great career and having fun inspired me to articulate this to myself as well... the feeling of having this "center" to come back to when you're inundated with so many external definitions of success. It feels like ambition can be a great thing when it motivates you to channel your energy towards something you love.
thank you!!!!!
This was great. I hope you can avoid whatever is happening to the other Substack girlies right now, everyone is so stressed re optimizing their sletters, getting all self-conscious and biting at others. Your voice is really specific and interesting.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I loved this.
that tension between the "opposite ends" of values 🤌
diet pepsi can and will save us all
fr