the texts i send my friends

delivered at 7:31 pm

on the totem pole of chat, texting is arguably on the lowest rung. i used to resent the velocity at which i would text throughout the day and would say annoying things like, “i just wishhhh i had a flip phone. nobody calls anymore! leave me a voicemail!”. i’ve been thinking a lot about the accessibility i have to not only my friends but to pure strangers, i am infamously not a mysterious person, i tend to overshare and let the inkling of a thought fly out of me before it has time to properly form. every year i promise myself that i’ll be more illusive, i’ll write my friends letters and call them out of the blue like i live in a 90s sitcom (which i kind of do). this weekend i was on a train for an extended period of time without wifi or service, i decided to go through some of my texts to best friends and group chats and acquaintances and strangers and was struck by the expansiveness of my messages, i saw the sometimes silly and always earnest textural debris of my life congeal into the most gorgeous hodgepodge of people in my life.

these are the texts i send my friends

• do you think i could do a pull-up if i tried?

• i have a surprise for you when we get there, don’t let me forget!

• bffr if you saw a man touch a matcha whisk you would howl

• i just don’t know what to do and constantly feel like every decision i make could be the wrong one and everyone keeps telling me to trust my gut but what if you have no idea what your gut is saying and instead it feels like all your decisions are twisting into each other morphing into a numbness that feels so addictingly safe you don’t want to leave

• i can’t believe we get to do this

• please tell your parents i say hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• could you do me a favor and read this email before i send it?

• you may not be able to read my handwriting in the card- let me know if you need me to translate

• last night was a Movie and you have the best friends in the entire world and i’m so grateful to drink ill advised whiskey shots in your orbit

• no it’s fine i just feel existential and strange, it’ll pass

• i can’t wait to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• btw i bought you a pack of cigarettes because at the dinner party last weekend everyone smoked yours and i felt bad, it’s been keeping me up all week

• i know we don’t like justin timberlake right now but i still think we should have requested to play sexyback last night

• i think one of my favorite things in the entire world is being in the same room with you while we’re in different conversations, your energy ricochets off the walls and everyone’s shoulders relax a little bit by just being in your presence, it’s so special.

• ADD THAT TO YOUR STAR FOLDER!

• my mom sent me this recipe that she thinks you’ll like, here’s the link:

• i feel like what you need right now is to listen to ribs by lorde

• did i do anything embarrassing last night?

• i feel like we eat well together which is really important to me

• can i practice this presentation in front of you? will take 5 mins!

• i’m going to be earnest for a second don’t yell at me

• my abs hurt from laughing so much this weekend

• you’ll love this book i just finished i’ll drop it by your apartment this week, i thought of you the whole time

• can’t wait to drink an amc soda with my girl

• should we plan a trip to mexico city…

• sorry i was watching the sopranos, feel free to call back whenever

• i think i’m going to get a tattoo tomorrow- please don’t tell me i shouldn’t because it’ll make me want to do it even more

• i’m not going to tell you that it will be okay because even though it will, it’s not right now- i think you have to let yourself feel this iciness for a minute which is annoying to hear. there is a lesson to learn from all of this, but at this very moment that is none of your business. i’ll be over to yours in 20 mins

• thank you for coming!!!!! i feel like the luckiest girl in the world

• i need at least an hour to putter around my apartment

• laughing out loud on the L rn

• are you home? i just finished dinner and am on your street and wanted to say hi

• sorry was just having a meltdown because i can’t figure out how to build this table and this is something i should be able to do but i can’t and i have no one to help me and my pink toolbox doesn't have the right screwdriver and i don’t know what to do so i’m sitting surrounded by instructions engineered for clarity and i still can’t do it and i love living alone but also sometimes feel incompetent and a brat for even saying that and i think i just need to cry but i haven’t cried in years which makes me even more upset

• everything feels so shiny right now

• i can’t believe i had the best night of my life last night and it took place at le bain

• this song will always make me think of you

• could you go up to my apartment to check to see if i blew out my candle…

• i keep thinking about how happy you looked last night

• please text me when you get home

• HOME!

  

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

text your friends and be annoying and earnest!!!!

would love to know what you’ve texted your friends recently

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo