dear angel cake, should i break up with him?????????

(yes)

dear angel cake is a weekly advice column email angelcake@substack.com with whatever is on your mind!!!!!! always anonymous <3

Dear Angel Cake,

I need advice on how to break up, or if I should, with my current guy.

We've been together for almost a year now but have been friends for 6 years. Here’s my laundry list of what’s bothering me and why I’m even considering breaking up with him:

1.) His attachment to his friends online. It’s bizarre. He met them at a point in his life where he really needed someone so they trauma bonded.
2.) His friends are people I wouldn't be comfortable hanging out with.
3.) His trip last year in Miami.
4.) His trip in Berlin last year where during his last day he went to those spa brothels??
5.) He killed the vibe while visiting me abroad and since then accuses me of being with someone else.
6.) Last month, he freaked out and called me a “psycho asshole”.
7.) He also has these nightmares where allegedly I cheat on him and he calls me early morning freaking out (I think he’s projecting). I confronted him about this and he has not brought it up again.

My friends are sick of hearing about this, and I don’t know how to break up with someone. I broke up with my ex over the phone and never looked back. I’m starting to accept how incredibly self-centered he is. I have been noticing that the majority of the time he’s not even here; he’s always with his friends, and I always feel nostalgic for when we were just friends and how good those times were. I don’t want to hold him to a version of himself that no longer exists. I have been trying to accept who he’s becoming, but I feel that he’s too brain dead to understand this.

I can’t recognize him anymore. I don’t know where my friend went.

sincerely,

should i? how do i?