dear angel cake, i think i'm ready to break up with new york

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Dear Angel Cake, 

I think i’m ready to break up with New York City. I've lived here for two years now and had a roller coaster experience of discovering new and exciting parts of myself, but I find myself longing for other parts which I feel can't exist here. 

My whole entire life almost everyone I encountered told me I needed to live in New York City, and for many years of my life that's what I worked towards. I always knew I wanted to work in the fashion industry so the city felt like the next logical step in life when it came time to graduate from college. Looking back on it, I didn't even consider any other option. 

The scariest part of becoming an "adult" is there are no more moments of decided change. There is no end of high school or end of college, when everyone holds hands and takes the jump together. Now, if I want to change my life I have to come to that conclusion all on my own and then simply, do it ?? What is the perfect moment? Am I truly unhappy? There seems like a never ending stream of questions to answer before I take any action - but I know deep down this is a ploy to delay my decision making. 

I adore my friends in New York, they fill parts of me I never knew needed fulfilling. I also have my dream job. At night a part of me longs for the beach, where I grew up. When I first went off to college I couldn't be more glad to rid myself of the sleepy beach town. However, now it seems like it could solve all my worries. I don't necessarily need to go home, but I never realized how much nature and the slowness of that life brought me peace. 

Can I have it all Angel Cake? 

Sincerely, 

not at peace