CAKE FOR LUNCH: WINTER 2025 INS & OUTS !!!!!!

a Lunch on Friday x Angel Cake collaboration

Editor’s note: For those who do not know, Angelina and Emily are Substack friends, work friends, real-life friends, and neighbors. ENJOY!

IN 

Investing in your food

• Angelina: Growing up, both of my parents were frugal about a lot of things except for one: food. My mom always makes sure to buy the best possible ingredients, nagging me as I moved into my own apartment to avoid buying “The Dirty Dozen” and shop organic fruits and vegetables. My dad, not much of a cook but still a lover of food, finds great joy in dining out at restaurants, to the point that he frequently drives 2+ hours into the city just to have dinner with me. (I am extremely grateful for this… especially when he’s just as excited to try a new restaurant as I am.) As someone who has always been in love with baking and more recently fell in love with cooking, I’ve noticed that over the years I’ve put more care into what goes into my shopping cart. I haven’t bought new clothes in a while, but I WILL willingly spend $20 on good olive oil. There’s something ceremonial about shopping in different grocery stores to nourish your body with the best possible ingredients or versions of something. You are what you eat!!!! (I will be writing more about food in 2025. Stay tuned.)

• Emily: For our friend Sydney’s birthday she had a few people over to have a caviar party and it was just so nice to spend money and intention on food rather than just drinking- I would so much rather spend my money on good olive oil or a stupidly expensive nut from time to time than bad vodka sodas… And I am extremely aware of geriatric that makes me sound, every year I slowly morph more and more into Ina Garten.

 Men liking sweets

• Emily: I am not here to shame a man for not being a “sweets guy” however, I do want to empower men to find their inner sweet tooth because there is literally nothing better than an impromptu cookie in the middle of the day or life-changing pastry on a Sunday morning. I actually don’t know what else there is to live for…… (currently editing this while eating a chocolate chip cookie).

• Angelina: When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he quickly noticed that I almost always crave something sweet after dinner, and on a Saturday morning, going to a bakery for a pastry and a coffee is a non-negotiable. He is constantly saying, “I’m not really a sweets person,” and yet every time there is something sweet in front of us—ranging from a pistachio croissant to the rum-buttered almond cookies I baked for a holiday party—he seems  to thoroughly enjoy the treat as much as me. I, like Emily, wish to empower all men to relish in the bliss of enjoying sweets, whether that means anything from a dark chocolate-covered strawberry to a custard bun to a decadent slice of Devil’s Food Cake. There is nothing wrong with liking sweets! Baking is an art and dessert is sexy!!!!

• Emily: DESSERT IS SEXY- I will also say Jason (Angelina’s boyfriend) keeps saying he’s not a sweets guy yet he did bring me two slices of cake as a housewarming present… Men please be free.

Touch tunes at the club

• Emily: Ummmm every bar should have a Touch Tunes. No need to elaborate further. 

• Angelina: GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.

Secret handshakes

• Angelina: I have secret handshakes with a select few of my friends, and it brings me so much joy to do them in public. Why did we stop this in middle school? I want to greet my people with a bang.

• Emily: So, our guy friends have been on a mission to teach me how to “dap someone up” (my problem is that I go too stiff in the wrist) and I am happy to report I have moved up from a C- to a B+ and am improving every week.

Literally just hanging out at someone’s apartment/house

• Emily: I could write a whole dissertation on how I think young people need to just be Hanging Out more, when I’m scheduling catch ups with my friends we tend to always default to dinner/drinks/pastries etc. (which is still great…) but sometimes I literally just want to yap on someone’s couch in baggy jeans!! Most of my favorite nights have been spent in a living room <3

• Angelina: Aligned. Agreed. Yep. Normalize playdates. Quality time is often more valuable in the comfort of someone’s own space—I also could write an entire dissertation on this. (Maybe that can be our next Cake for Lunch subject…)

Sending things back

• Emily: Soooooooo I’ve decided a personal goal of mine is to Actually Say And Show How I Feel, and as a first step I am going to actually send things back if I do not like them (IN AN EXTREMELY KIND, POLITE MANNER!!!!!!!!!!). Angelina and I were out with a ton of our co-workers at Bar Valentina (shout out Val’s we love you) and I ordered a Cosmo that was on the menu because I love them and lets face it Carrie Bradshaw as imbedded herself in every fold of my brain, when I took a sip I realized that the drink was just… not for me… there was a hint of banana that I just simply could not get behind. Angelina saw me try to choke it down and convinced me to NICELY ask for something else, I did and it was the loveliest interaction and everything was fine and I got the drink I wanted. Say how you feel!! (I scream to myself).

• Angelina: I think once the idea of being a “Karen” became a thing in mainstream culture, many of us became afraid of asking for what we truly want in spaces where we’re paying to be there and investing our time. I always think about my grandfather, who would frequently send things back at restaurants if they weren’t to his standards. He wasn’t a snob or anything—he was a self-made Italian-American man who knew what he liked and what he didn’t like. Aside from sending things back, expressing how you feel in any situation is taking the higher road. People aren’t mind-readers, and I’ve learned that it’s best to say what you need instead of getting upset when the other person can’t figure out what it is you want. On that note…

Being direct 

• Angelina: I consider myself a pretty direct person, and it’s something I’m proud of. I think I learned from a young age that I’m not going to get what I want unless I advocate for myself in many situations, and being direct has almost always worked in my favor. One of my more wholesome hot takes is that most people wait too long to say ‘I love you.’ One of my New Year’s resolutions is to tell people how much they mean to me more—I just think that life is so short, I’m going to say what I feel when I have the chance. (I feel like I’m going in a different direction with this than I anticipated, but all I’m saying is, tell people how you feel!!!!!) 

• Emily: As someone that struggles to be direct I have so many thoughts on this but I think I should save them for a therapist or at least a paid tier of Angel Cake (kidding) (kind of).

“Get a load of this”

• Angelina: Our friend Clay started a story with this at the bar a few weeks ago, and he had our attention immediately. If someone’s telling me to get a load of something, you bet I’m locked in.

• Emily: I’m sitting here laughing thinking about the way our eyes went so wide when we heard “get a load of this” everything is soooooooooo funny. 

Embroidered cocktail napkins

• Emily: Angelina put this in our doc and I’m a big embroidery head so I am aligned.

• Angelina: They’re pretty. They’re sustainable. They’re personal. They’re unique. Similar to investing in your food, I believe it’s important to invest in the things your food and beverages are served with. I love tablescape culture and am here to talk about it anytime anyone wants.

• Emily: Okay yeah agreed as I also belong to the Church of the Tablescape

Commenting on a celebrity/media outlet’s grid post

• Emily: I honestly do not know when I started doing this but lately I have just been commenting up a storm… I’m not commenting anything insightful or critical it’s usually something along the lines of “hell yeah” on some insane post from The Cut or “Happy birthday @InaGarten” (Second Ina mention, I am aware)

• Angelina: I STAYYYYY DOING THIS. I have no shame in commenting on a famous person’s Instagram—what’d we say about being direct? I want Ina Garten to know I’m thinking of her on her birthday. She deserves to know.

Doing whatever YOU want for Dry January

• Emily: I find January to be one of the most annoying months socially mainly because people are so weird about whether or not they and their friends are doing Dry Jan.. My philosophy is to literally do whatever you want and don’t make it weird. Don’t get annoyed if your friends are not drinking (that’s literally insane) and also don’t not attend something because you aren’t drinking !!! Last year I did Dry Jan and loved it! This year I’m having a Wet Jan, I feel equally as good about those decisions and I don’t attach morality to either one. 

• Angelina: TOTALLY agree with everything Emily said. There’s too much pressure lately on completing Dry January (at least in New York), and literally no one needs any more pressure right now. I do usually partake in Dry January, and I am this year, but I’ve always been someone who has equally as much fun going out sober as I do whilst drinking. Drink or don’t drink, just don’t be weird about it.

Closing down a restaurant

• Angelina: More than once we’ve been the last table at a restaurant, and those have been some of our most fun dinners. Late reservations on a Friday or Saturday are quite possibly my favorite thing in the world. 

• Emily: I LOOOOOOOVE A LATE DINNER mainly because my family ate very late growing up so a 9 pm dinner for me is like a 7 pm dinner for someone else.. So much so that I literally don’t get hungry till super late which I find to be chic and fun. There is something so silly and magical and romantic about being the last ones in a restaurant.

Counting your blessings !!!!! 

• Emily: As a disgustingly earnest person I do not shut up about how grateful I am for the people in my life and for the daily mundanity I’ve created for myself (even this cookie I’m eating right now is making me transcend into a higher place). I strongly believe that even shitty situations are meant to show you what you actually want. Everything works out!

• Angelina: I shared this in my “2024 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” post, but around the beginning of any new year, there’s so much emphasis on forward-thinking and self-improvement—I think we should all make a point to “count our blessings” and express gratitude for what we have. Something that’s helped me stay accountable with this is writing 5 things I’m grateful for in a journal. I admit I don’t end up doing this every day, but I do it as much as I can, and that’s something. Even if you’re just grateful for your warm cup of coffee, say thank you! (I sound like my yoga instructor Alyssa rn.) I’ve had this conversation so many times recently, but I really am so grateful for my friends. They feel like family and I’d be totally lost without them, and that’s what I’m most grateful for as I enter 2025. Elise texted me the below after her birthday party last night, and I went to bed with my heart so full. How lucky are we :)

OUT

Being surprised when guests show up on time 

• Emily: An infamous hot take that I have is that I think it is SO much cooler to show up to a party on time than to arrive late… You get to set the tone for the evening and have more intimate conversations before everyone else arrives! Now I want to be clear that I DO NOT condone showing up to a party/gathering early, but as a host you should expect that a select amount of people will arrive around the start time.. Let’s just all stop assuming a party starts an hour later than it says it does!!!!

• Angelina: I’m pretty sure this was included somewhere in Ina Garten’s memoir (we really keep mentioning her today..), but it is rude to show up early to a party unless the host has asked you to do so. Being on time, on the other hand, is chic and fabulous and the recipe for a perfect night. I love to watch a party unfold, and I love to get some one-on-one time with the host before they get busy running around all night. To Emily’s point, I’m tired of the assumption that the party starts an hour later than the invitation says. On the flip side, I love the quality time I spend with my punctual guests when I’m the one hosting a party!

Being embarrassed about watching a lot of tv 

• Emily: I… love watching tv... I love lighting candles in my living room and changing the color of my light bulbs and watching a few episodes of something that makes my brain lock into problems other than my own. I enjoy a Grand Canyon size range of TV spanning from any HBO prestige show to the lowest rungs of Bravo… I will not feel bad about this!!!! 

• Angelina: I am famously bad at committing to TV shows—I’ve been stuck on season 2 episode 6 of The Sopranos for months and am having trouble returning (sorry, Emily)—but I DO watch a LOT of movies and I am PROUD. I have a TV for a reason, and the reason is for enjoyment and entertainment. Movies & television are a form of art, and there’s nothing wrong with consuming such! (Angelina Hazzouri on Letterboxd if anyone cares.)

• Emily: I can’t believe you’re still on season 2…

Clout chasing

• Angelina: Literally no one cares how many followers you have or that you’re on the list or that someone with a blue checkmark follows you. We all need to get over ourselves.

• Emily: Not to sound like a PBS program (shout out PBS) but literally nothing matters except how you treat other people.

Hating on being in group chats 

• Emily: I find it so weird when people complain about being in overly active group chats.. I admit that 99% of screen time is spent yapping on iMessage as I am an avid and prolific texter but.. who doesn’t want to chat and giggle with their friends all day?????? If you don’t want to be in a specific group chat I empower you to leave and rid yourself of the shackles.

• Angelina: If I didn’t participate in several group chats, my life would be so dull. Like so dull.

Describing food as “viral”

• Emily: Everytime I hear someone describe food as “viral” an angel loses its wings. I have such an aversion to gimmicky food trends mainly because I just strongly believe that we should just be focused on having really great food which is not necessarily correlated with something “new” that is designed to look “interesting” on Instagram. I really value the importance of food in cultivating relationships/communities and I just get frustrated when I see another line wrapped around the block of people waiting for something that they really just want to post as opposed to going to one of the million other more low-key but still great restaurants.

• Angelina: Emily said everything perfectly. I don’t care if the sandwich is viral, I care if the sandwich is GOOD.

Photo by Michelle Paradis <3

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much to come in the Cake for Lunch multiverse, stay tuned <3 We love you!

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