CAKE FOR LUNCH: SUMMER INS & OUTS !!!

a Lunch on Friday x Angel Cake collaboration

SUMMER 2025 INS AND OUTS 

One of our friends joked that it was too late to publish this because “summer is almost over,” but that is completely wrong. Summer is JUST getting started, and we are pleased to present our Summer 2025 ins and outs!!!!!! For those of you who don’t know, Emily and Angelina are Substack friends, work friends, neighbors, and IRL best friends. ENJOY!!!!!!!!

IN:

$30 dinners 

Angelina: I realized recently that I sometimes find myself saying no to dinner with a friend because in my mind, that’s a $70 excursion every time. This is absolutely not true. Emily and I came to this realization this after a weeknight dinner with miss Kate Snyder, in which the 3 of us split a few small plates at a restaurant in Williamsburg and didn’t order drinks. Our conversions were fruitful and our laughter was incessant – and we only spent $30 each. We stayed at the restaurant for the same amount of time as we would’ve had we ordered more food and a few drinks, but we didn’t feel guilty about the cost of it. Food is important, and sharing meals with friends is a non-negotiable. Say yes to $30 dinners!!!!!

Emily: I find myself being guilty of grabbing drinks with friends in place of dinner because of the cost but that is sometimes even more expensive and I always wish we just went somewhere cheap for dinner. I find that you learn a lot about someone while eating with them, I have had epiphanies and built lifelong friendships over baskets of fries and plates of sushi…  There are few things I would rather spend my money on!!!

Third-wheeling 

Emily: I had a realization recently that for the majority of our friendship, Angelina and I have both been varying degrees of single. I never really considered this because our lives and friendship are defined by so many relationships, but when Angelina got serious with her boyfriend a shocking amount of people asked me how I “felt about that” and my answer was… I FEEL GREAT??? I have never even felt a flicker of anxiety over this because I personally love being a third wheel and our friendship has only become more special since her relationship status has changed. The three of us have gone to intimate dinners together, gone out dancing and frequently text in a group chat… Everything is just simply MORE FUN! I really hate the idea that a friendship has to suffer if someone enters a relationship because finding love should expand the parts of your life you already have and make them deeper. 

Angelina: I love third-wheeling and I also love when Emily is our third wheel. A couple months ago I was talking to someone at an event and mentioned my boyfriend a few minutes into the conversation, and she interrupted, “I’m surprised to hear you have a boyfriend.” I was so caught offguard and asked what she meant by that, to which she replied, “I just mean—it seems like you’re such a good friend. Like you and Emily are together so much.” I was honestly appreciative of her bluntness because I think there’s some weird discourse right now about what it means to “get a boyfriend” and what you have to “give up” in order to have that. Let me be clear: If you’re in the right relationship, you don’t have to give up anything. My boyfriend is one of my best friends and Emily is one of my best friends and now THEY have become good friends and that’s how it should be!!!!! That’s not to say I don’t make time for my girl friends one-on-one, however. I prioritize one-on-ones. See below the next point.

Emily: And to be clear, we are looking for a fourth…

1:1s

Angelina: My good friend Reid pseudo-coined the term “having a one-on-one,” and it’s something I’ve always appreciated about him. It means prioritizing one-on-one time with friends—whether they be new or old—and dedicating that time to them and them only. One-on-ones are so important. Undivided attention with someone can lead to beautiful, honest, and prolific conversations that are often more meaningful than those that would happen at a group dinner or even with a third party present. If I haven’t seen someone in a while and I really want to catch up with them, I make it a point to have a one-on-one with them, even if we’re meeting up with more people later. Tonight, I’m having drinks with my friend I haven’t seen in a while before we go to our other friend’s birthday dinner because I want to properly catch up with him before the chaos of a group birthday dinner. Prioritize 1:1s!!!!!

Emily: I love prioritizing a 1:1 especially if you share a ton of mutual friends with someone, I can often find myself trying to optimize my time and see multiple people at once. While a group hangout can be great, I usually feel the most full after leaving a 1:1 with someone. I would be a shell of a person if I did not have designated time with each one of my friends. 

Cold calls

Angelina: I don’t know how our generation got to the point of thinking it’s a big deal to call people, but we need to reverse this and I’m here to start the movement. For the love of god, CALL YOUR FRIENDS!!!!! CALL YOUR FAMILY!!!!! CALL TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!!!!! Our friend Sam cold-calls people all the time, and it’s one of my favorite qualities about him. I pick up nearly every time because I love hearing his voice rather than just reading a text. On that note: LEAVE VOICEMAILS IF THE PERSON DOESN’T ANSWER! I always do. I have saved voicemails from friends and from my grandmother who’s no longer alive, and it’s always so comforting to listen back to them. Let’s gab on the phone like it’s 2005.

Emily: I LOVE A COLD CALL! In my hierarchy of chat is as follows: 1. cold calls 2. texting 3. voice memos 4. facetimes. Obviously calls are the best when you are chatting with someone who is good at parlaying a conversation (my favorite types of people). I especially love doing chores around my house while on the phone because it reminds me of when I used to watch my mom talk on the phone with her sisters and best friends for hours while she cleaned the kitchen and folded the laundry. Next time you are doing your chores turn OFF the podcast and call a friend!!! Ezra Klein can wait.  

Angelina: To be clear, I also love texting. Text me.

Dinner and a party 

Emily: We have accidentally started having a “dinner and a party” almost every weekend. We have discussed at nauseum how much we love a house party, but the night does not start at the party, what you choose to do before crucially sets the tone of the night. Getting dinner with a small group of friends before is perfect because you can intimately catch up and gossip with your friends in a way that feels more substantial that ye ole pregame, and it also just feels chic and glamorous. Also, if the party is a bust you already had a fabulous dinner. 

Angelina: DINNER. AND. A PARTY!!!!! God. I love it so much. It’s literally my favorite thing in the world. Like, having dinner is my favorite thing in the world, but also, house parties are my favorite thing in the world. You know that scene in Ratatouille where Remy combines the strawberry and the cheese and it’s an explosion of fireworks? Dinner and a party.

5 beers for whoever wants one  

Emily: A group of our friends were at a bar a few weeks ago, it was a bit of an eclectic mix of people some of whom were new acquaintances with each other. As we’re sitting around and talking all of a sudden one of our friends gets up and goes to the bar and says, “I’m just gonna get 5 beers for whoever wants one.” Angelina and I just laughed out loud when I told her that Five Beers For Whoever Wants One genuinely MOVED ME! This is COMMUNITY, this is FRIENDSHIP, this is CONNECTION! I also personally value people who are self-appointed social chairs of an evening and like to make sure everyone is having the best time possible. 

Angelina: Emily literally grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes and said, nearly tearing up, “I feel so moved by 5 Beers For Whoever Wants One.” We were hysterical. And you know what? He ended up getting a beer for everyone (about 8 of us) and it led to us going to another bar and another bar and it was one of the best nights.

Carrying a compact

Angelina: I always carry a compact mirror in my bag like they used to do in the Ancient Times before the iPhone had a front-facing HD camera, and I cannot express enough how chic it feels to check if there are sesame seeds in my teeth with a vintage floral enameled mirror from Mexico City rather than my crusty iPhone 16 Pro. Have some dignity.

Emily: My grandmother always carried around a Chanel compact mirror, so in glamorous pursuit of keeping a tiny piece of her with me, I also carry a Chanel compact mirror with me. It has saved me on countless dates I am running late to and just simply looks disgustingly chic, it’s all about the little things people!

Gossiping about your life with strangers

Emily: Recently, I was at a party and asked a stranger what plans they had for the weekend, I already had a boring answer teed up that probably sounded like, “oh I have a dinner and then am going to see a movie and get a pastry with a friend and go to yoga and clean my apartment blah blah blah) but when I asked my new friend she proceeded to tell me the most insane piece of gossip about her love life. I stood there with my mouth hung open and full of gratitude that this person blessed me with such an interesting story. Gossip about your life with strangers!! It is (fairly) low stakes because they do not know anyone in your life, exaggerate, be dramatic, give people something to TALK ABOUT! We exist on a floating rock and are all going to die one day, we may as well make life interesting for one another!

Angelina: Anyone who reads my writing already knows I’m chatttttttiinnnggggg with strangers. Next.

OUT

Overbooking yourself

Angelina: Summer’s here and the time is right for Respectfully Declining. I feel like this ebbs and flows for me, but last summer, I was sooooo overbooked and overwhelmed, and I’m making an effort not to let that happen this summer. Pause before saying yes. Look at your calendar. Figure out what you want to prioritize this summer. It’s okay! They will understand!

Emily: I am laughing  because I texted Angelina this morning that by PURE ACCIDENT I have found myself biting off more than I can chew in June (I feel like I am writing exclusively in idioms today which I am not going to apologize for but would like you to know that I am aware of it and I can’t stop). Anyway, I am extremely enthusiastic about everything in my life, which means when something comes across my desk, my inclination is always to say, “YES!” Which has resulted in me staring at my kitchen wall for 10 minutes thinking about all the things I have to do over the next few weeks like VOTE (if you live in New York City, early voting for the mayoral election starts on 6/14 !!!! Voting is EXTREMELY important and EXTREMELY hot and should be prioritized, always), buy paper towels, text 20 people back, book a bus ticket to the beach etc. etc. etc. Anyway, I am going to try to front-load my summer and then spend the rest of it leisurely lying in the sun and reading so if you want to see me, act quickly. 

Wordiness

Emily: I have a tendency to indulge in rambling when I am at my worst. I do not love this quality of mine because it feels unconfident, wishy washy and just simply weak. Now, I am NOT a weak person so I need to nip this in the bud. People do not need a 5 minute monologue explaining a situation, being direct and getting to the point is a beautiful art that saves everybody involved a lot of brainspace. 

Angelina: One of my favorite lyrics of all time is in PinkPantheress’s song “All My Friends Know,” in which she says, “Did you ever want me? No worries if not.” It’s such beautiful use of satire and a generational phrase that needs to be ERADICATED!!!!!!!! There’s literally no reason to add “no worries if not” to the end of a sentence. Say it with your chest!

Putting people on a pedestal 

Emily: Sooooooooooo, I have a problem with this which I am Working On. I put pretty much everyone in my life on an ornate gold pedestal above myself. A romantic part of me likes to think that I just have so much glowing admiration for my friends and family and crushes that I relinquish a part of my ego to fill theirs. While romantic, inherently this can manifest into me thinking that everyone around me is smarter, funnier, and just simply better than I am. I have been thinking a lot about self-respect recently, and in an effort to focus on respecting myself I am trying to not put the people I care about above me in my head. There is so much love to go around for everyone, always.  

Angelina: Love is everywhere!!!!!!!!

Bringing your phone to bed

Emily: I am going to let Angelina take the reins on this one because I unfortunately do bring my phone to bed… I try not to scroll in bed and I always read a physical book before I fall asleep..  But if you text me while I am in bed… I am probably going to answer. 

Angelina: And you know what, I love that she answers because sometimes I really need her. I, however, haaaave been leaving my phone in the kitchen when I go to bed at night, and I really love it. I’m not tempted to check what time it is or add one last thing to my to-do list or scroll on whatever mindless app one last time, because it’s simply not an option. My phone is in the kitchen and that’s soooo far away! (Not actually.) (New York City apartments are so funny because at night I lay my head on a pillow that’s 6-feet away from my oven.) (I digress.)

Saving things for later

Angelina: This isn’t what you think—allow me to explain. I had a conversation with my boyfriend recently about how we each have lived so much life already in our 27 years on Earth, and it sparked a beautiful discourse about opportunity and the pursuit of experience without pushing things off to later in life. I’ve always been someone who makes the most of nearly every situation, and I’m proud of that. It’s led to my having an internship at a magazine when I studied abroad, going to Coachella in college simply because I wanted to and I could, meeting new people and building lifelong friendships because I chose to go to the party, and so on and so forth. Obviously, moderation is important and saving money is important and we shouldn’t be frivolous about how we spend our resources, but the way I see it, there’s no better time than the present. How you spend your days is how you spend your life!!!!! I remember in 5th grade, my friend’s parents had a surprise birthday party for my friend and rented a limo to take us to see High School Musical 3 in theaters (sick), and when my mom heard we would be riding in a limo, her response was that she never rode in a limo as a kid and that I’d have “nothing to look forward to” later in life. I remember thinking that was so silly—there’s always something to look forward to! Right now I’m looking forward to my friend’s birthday dinner tonight and girls beach weekend at the end of June and whatever trips I go on in the future and the possibility of riding in a limo again one day. Seize the moment!!!!! You don’t know if “later” will be there.

Emily: No one has ever told me that I don’t know how to LIVE. My dad and I were talking the other weekend about how my generation spends their money so much differently than his. He made the argument that he never went out to expensive dinners or big trips like my friends and I do. While I hear his point that the likelihood of me owning property is anytime soon is imperceptibly thin, I can’t imagine waiting for “one day” to go to the restaurants I love or going on trips with my friends. This does not have to be tied to money, it can just be about actually doing something you always assumed you would do “later” now is the time baby! 

Angelina: CARPE DIEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BONUS CONTENT

Angelina’s Summer Bucket List:

• Get really tan

• Coney Island (Anne and I make sure to ride the Cyclone at least 4 times when we go)

• Statue of Liberty

• Movies in the park

• Walk Manhattan from top to bottom

• Play golf

• Play basketball

• In general, play outside

• Take lots of pictures

• Eat lots of different fruits (yesterday I had blueberries, lychees, and cherries)

• Have drinks on my fire escape with my neighbors because we keep saying we need to do drinks and we haven’t but now we WILL

• Solo dine at… TBD

• Cook a beautiful summer dinner for my girls

• Dance and sweat a lot

Emily’s Summer Bucket List 

• Watch every Éric Rohmer film 

• Take PTO to get Thai Diner’s breakfast

• Coney Island (again)

• Drink as many piña coladas as possible

• Eat as many oysters as possible 

• Learn how to play chess  

• Buy an Italian ceramic leopard for my apartment (I will not be elaborating) 

• Take myself out for an ice cream cone and swim in the ocean AT LEAST once a week 

• Re-read East of Eden

• Make out on a sidewalk a lot 

• Listen to the Beach Boys a lot 

• Reduce my screen time by an hour 

THANK YOU FOR READING! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

Subscribe to read more from Angelina here & Emily here.